Overcoming Workplace Obstacles Through Empathy
Earlier in the year, I had partnered with a co-worker to do some work for their customer. I was identified as one of the SME (Subject Matter Experts) in the technology the customer needed assistance with, I helped the customer and all was good….or so I thought.
A few months later, the co-worker contacted me in regards to how the customer did not feel they were provided what they had asked for. This initially surprised me because I thought I had done great, the customer seemed satisfied, we had great rapport and I answered their questions. What also surprised me was how aggressive my co-worker was being in regards to “what are you going to do to fix this problem”. We were supposed to be on the same team and I was being treated like this??
Here is what I felt at that moment:
Anger
Disrespect
Powerless
Therefore, the initial attitude I took was ‘Sorry, I did my best, there’s not much I can do to help.’
Now, I’d like to introduce my favorite co-worker Juliet (hopefully by the end of this article, you’ll see why she’s my favorite co-worker). We had a phone call, around this time, about a totally unrelated issue, but as usual with Juliet, we ended up talking about other work related topics. I complained about my situation and then, as usual with her; I learned (this music started playing in my head).
Lesson 1: Its not about me
Juliet took on the role of my other co-worker and demonstrated how this was not an attack on me or my character. Goodbye Anger!
I quickly got over the ‘Personal’ aspect of the situation.
Lesson 2: Its about the customer
Juliet also pointed out that its quite possible my co-worker was taking heat from her management and therefore, probably reached out to PARTNER with me to fix this.
OK, now I no longer felt disrespected.
Lesson 3: Do something
I no longer felt powerless, because now, I realized I played a big role in OWNING and fixing this problem.
So I did and we lived happily ever after.
Some extra tidbits
In less than an hour, I was enlightened and on my way to overcoming this issue that had been bothering me for weeks. In terms of communication, I realized that Juliet did not TELL me what to do, she helped me find the answer by asking me poignant questions, it empowered me to discover the answer myself. I was able to EMPATHIZE with my co-worker, and customer, which helped me get past my bruised ego and address the problem at hand.
Finally, after being in awe of her Jedi powers, I asked ‘How do you know this stuff?’. Like Yoda, she gracefully gave me some reference material: The book “Emotional Intelligence 2.0” by Travis Bradberry and Jean Greaves. This book is turning out to be a great resource in learning how to be more self-aware and become better at managing relationships at work.
I half-jokingly say that I will work for Juliet one day and well, who wouldn’t want to work for someone with Jedi skills like Yoda?
